How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
2023-07-09 04:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
I think you might be heartless because you just stole my heart.
2023-07-09 03:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
2023-07-09 01:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Maybe We Should Cut You Open And Count The Rings Of Whiskey.
2023-07-09 00:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
If you were a map pack, I'd download you.
2023-07-08 23:00:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Do you like maths? Add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and we can multiply.
2023-07-08 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello financial advisors in my phone - Should I buy this exorbitantly priced jacket in a bid for a modicum of serotonin, or should I be sensible and put my credit card where I cannot find it?
2023-07-08 17:24:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey so I've got a couple of customs & dick rates need sending out which I'm hopefully sorting on Monday. My Internet is really bad and they've cut the line trying to fix it (rural area, not a priority for them). I've been trying to upload off of 4G but anything above 2min is taking hours and hours and then self cancelling so I'm booking a hotel Monday to steal their WiFi haha. Sorry about this and I promise I'm trying to sort!
2023-07-08 13:54:02 +0000 UTC View Post
You can mount me any time and I will take you places.
2023-07-08 10:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.
2023-07-08 06:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Don't make me use Water Gun all over you!
2023-07-08 05:00:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey baby, are you Vosik? Cuz I'll break down your barrier.
2023-07-08 04:00:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Do you have a $5 coin to spare me? I wanna show you a lil surprise!
2023-07-08 00:35:19 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you know that chemists do it on the table periodically? Let’s be chemists for a day!
2023-07-08 00:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
I wish I was a Magikarp, so I could use SPLASH on you! 💦💦
2023-07-07 23:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Eh baby, I dunno about the Dragonborn but I know you're coming tonight.
2023-07-07 22:12:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Should I Just... Sneak On Now?
2023-07-07 18:57:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Your key blade can fit my key hole.
2023-07-07 14:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Eighteen Percent? I Thought We Was Doing The Robbing Here.
2023-07-07 10:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
2023-07-07 06:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
You know what is better than plant life? We make our own life.
2023-07-07 05:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
You’d be great with Heizou, your Heartstopper is always off cooldown.
2023-07-07 04:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
I may be looking like a nord, but I’m a red guard in my pants and a khajiit in the bed.
2023-07-07 03:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you cast Stopga? Because my heart skipped a beat when I saw you.
2023-07-07 02:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Once you go Argonian you won't ever feel alone again.
2023-07-07 01:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Are you a Cryo user? Cause I’m down to some Coldplay boy.
2023-07-07 00:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
I haven’t been trained in magic, but I sure know how to handle a staff.
2023-07-06 23:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
